


Crying Shoulder

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Concerned!Spock, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Short Story, breakdown - Freeform, fictlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 17:03:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain James T Kirk feels down. And Spock is concerned about this</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crying Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> short ficlet based by nothing I just feel like writing x)

Crying Shoulder

The Captain never look that down before. Down as in, looking all sorrow and not energetic at all, Kirk never was that down before. The blue eyes that usually looks brighter than the city lights in the big cities in earth, or those shining stars around the galaxies, are looking all blank and dark. Even the crews sure that the Captain's eyes don't darken, they were sure that the Captain's eyes are looking darker than how it used to. 

When the Captain finally sits on his chair, it's a deep silence for everyone. Nobody dares to speak up, all waiting for the Captain to greet or to start a discussion. The first officer, the one that always be the target of the Captain's clingy action, are even confused by the Captain's behaviour. The first officer keeps his confusion all by himself anyway, knowing that most of the crew presume that Vulcans do not feel confused or whatsoever they thought Vulcans were. 

And the rest of the day went slow, so slow and so tempting. The fact that the Captain talks only during the mission and only when he needs to ask the crew about the ship's condition and about the planet was more horrible than how the crew thinks it might be. The Captain finally announce the mission ends up more great than how he thought, he then a forced smile at the crew before he walks back to the turbolift. Spock doesn't know what he is doing, he is unsure by his action as well. What he is doing is that he follows the Captain and stands firmly next to the Captain inside the turbolift. And things never gets that awkward before.

Jim Kirk, the Captain, looks like he is going to sulk on the corner of the turbolift. Spock raised a brow as he turns his gaze to Jim who is still looking like he is going to sulk. Jim's eyes are darting at his hazel brown eyes, the blue eyes shows nothing but tiredness and sorrowful it reminds Spock of the pain he felt when he lost his homeland, Vulcan.

“Captain, are you well?” He finally manages to ask Jim who is giving him a smile. A fake smile to be exact. Spock knows the Captain tries to act like he is alright. Six months since the starting of their five years mission, Spock finally understands whenever his Captain fakes a smile or not.

“I'm alright, see?” Kirk said in a low tone, almost sounding all desperate rather than happy.

“Cap- Jim,” Spock could feel his face flushed as he refers the Captain by the name rather than calling him Captain. “I am unsure about your feeling, as if you need someone 'to talk with' I am here if you need me.”

Jim doesn't reply his First Officer, but his ring finger is pressing the stop button on the turbolift. Spock thinks that the Captain /does/ need him for listening to what most human would prefer to call as 'rants'.

Still standing firmly next to his Captain, Spock finally turns his body to the right. His face facing Jim's face, and what he could see is that the Captain's face are all looking more sadden than he already is. It looks like Jim really wants to talk about what happen but he afraid that his feelings will get overly compromised, which might end up with him crying instead of 'ranting'. Spock raised his eyebrow again, waiting for the Captain to talk.

“Well...this might be weird but,” Jim lets out a sigh, his eyes looking down at the floor as if he begs for mercy. “I miss my home, it sucks. And my mum...she's sick, and everything are fucked up there.” Spock realises that the Captain are actually holding the tears that already forming in his cerulean blue eyes.

“I mean...Frank blames me for not being at Iowa, he told me I'm a dick for not caring about my mother's health. Call me a crybaby Spock, but I just dislike it when someone blames me for something that's not real!” He grits his teeth, looking all upset, desperate, sorrow, furious, and lonely. Spock never seen the Captain this conflicted, never.

“I love my mother, and Frank is being all a fucker for not taking care of her! Yet he told me that I'm the problem? You know...” Jim can't hold the tears anymore, some of the droplets of his tears are already on the floor. “I...I...”

Spock never thought that the Captain would stop his rant and decide to hug him instead. It was a very fast gesture, and Spock didn't even had the time to move away since the Captain is holding him tightly. Jim buries his face on Spock's shoulder, feeling ashamed because he just cried in front of his First Officer.

Jim Kirk, the lady killer, the youngest yet experience Captain on Starfleet, the one who does not believe in no-win-scenario, is crying in front of his First Officer. Spock who is still confused and surprised by the Captain's sudden act, slowly holds the Captain tight.

He found out that holding the Captain will be this warm, comfortable, and calming. Soothing the Captain's back, Spock could hear the Captain muffling some few words on his shoulder.

It might be a 'thank you' and something like 'need you, now I have you' and then 'love you'. Spock stays silent anyway, even though his heartbeat beating increase and his ears and his cheeks turn bright green.

They stand there for awhile. Spock was tired to count how many seconds they hug. He likes the hug too, so he just let the Captain hugs him until whenever he wants.

-end-

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for grammar errors. Still learning my english since it's not my first language.  
> Anyway thank you for reading~


End file.
